


Mine

by wickedwiccan



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Coffee Shop, Flirting, Fluff, Funny, Humor, Licking, M/M, Pancakes, all you can eat buffett, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-03-30 06:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13945092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwiccan/pseuds/wickedwiccan
Summary: And that got Deadpool thinking. Liking things wasn't really that bad. Some animals did it to clean themselves. It was considered hygienic for them. Others lick as act of endearment. Why couldn't he? Why couldn't he….





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is derived from an incident that happened to me. I’ll explain in the endnotes <3

“Whacha doin’?” Peter stood behind the couch leaning over his boyfriend. His arms wrapped around his lover's chest as he rested his head on Wade’s.

Deadpool looked down at the arms around him. They were awfully close to his face, enough that he could rest his head on one if he wanted to. 

It was then the merc opened his mouth to speak when…

“Ew! Wade! Did you just lick me?” Peter pulled back.

“Yes?”

“Why?”

He looked at the hero, then the wet spot on his arm, “I was gonna talk, but then my tongue fell out and I just… it was there.”

“That’s not a good reason to.”

“I think it is.”

“You can't just lick people.”

Wade turned back to the TV screen with a smirk, “That’s not what you were sayin last night.”

Peter just glared, knowing well he couldn't retaliate after that. Instead he stormed off to the bathroom to wash his arm.

And that got Deadpool thinking. Liking things wasn't really that bad. Some animals did it to clean themselves. It was considered hygienic for them. Others lick as act of endearment. Why couldn't he? Why couldn't he….


	2. Remote

Peter came back in the living room a little later. He plopped down on the couch next to Wade.

“Let me watch something.” he reached for the remote.

“No. I’m watching Kitchen Nightmares. Oh, Gordon you rascal you!”

“But you’ve been watching it for three hours straight! And it's on Netflix you can watch it whenever.”

Wade just ignored him.

“Wade ~” Peter practically whined.

Again, no response.

The young spider pouted. After about a minute or two though, he came up with a plan.

“Hey wade…?” he cooed as he crept closer. “Please? Can't I watch something for just a little bit.”

By now his hands were on the mercs chest, rubbing little circles in a slow, meaningful way. Peter knew this was risky, he might not even get to watch his show if he used this tactic, but the other outcome wouldn't be too bad either. 

“Wade?”

He was completely in his lap now, hot breath brushing the merc ear. It gave Deadpool the chills.

“Just a half hour, hour tops? Or… we could both lose our tops.”

Wade glanced at him. A double take was necessary before he caught on, “Oh no you don't!”

Catching the hero’s hand before it reached the remote, Wade confiscated the item, then turned on Peter, pinning him to the couch. Straddling his boyfriend, Wade used one hand to push him down lightly by the chest as the other raised the remote out of reach.

“Wade!” Peter pouted once again as he grasped at the air for the object.

“Ah, ah, ah!” Deadpool seized his hands, pinning them up and over his head. “This is mine.” and before Peter could do anything more Wade’s tongue liked a stripe of slick slobber from end to end of the little black button box.

Peter wouldn't be using the TV for a while.


	3. Food

“Making pancakes making bacon pancakes…”

Peter could hear the tune from in the bedroom. Wade usually blasted that song on repeat when he made his favorite breakfast food.

Groggy with somewhat of an appetite, Peter drug himself out of bed and into the kitchen. There he found his boyfriend dressed in nothing but Spider-man boxers and Hello Kitty apron. Though a little dorky, the young hero thought it was attractive in it's own Wade sort of way. 

“Let me guess,” he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, “pancakes?”

“Bacon pancakes, baby boy!”

The merc switched off the stove. Turning to the little table in the corner, he set down a single plate with about ten on it. Peter reached for one, not really caring if they were suruped or not.

“No!” Wade slapped his hand away, “Mine!”

The web slinger wasn't much surprised. Wade loved cooking for him but made it a rule that they had to do it together otherwise Peter would have to make them himself. There were exceptions though, like holidays. Today wasn't a holiday.

“Come on babe. Just one?”

“You know the rules.”

Wade turned to get the syrup from the fridge. Peter took this opportunity to snag a single cake.

“Hey!” seems he wasn't stealthy enough for this merc with a mouth.

Peter put it back knowing well what he was capable of if his food was taken. He wouldn't mind punishment, but the young hero needed to head to work in an hour.

Wade snatched the plate from the table, glared at Peter, then took a good look at his pancakes before licking them all over. The sides, the tops, the bottoms, he didn't leave a surface unlicked.

Peter sat horrified.

“Why-?”

“Mine.” Wade then sauntered on off into the living room.


	4. Villains

He was a simple minion. The main baddie got away, but this man would know where his hideout was.

“We’re going to take you to the police, but first,” Spider-man pulled the webbing from his mouth, “you’re going to talk.”

“No!” a voice that was neither of them shouted.

The spider jumped slightly, “D-deadpool?”

“I wanna interrogate him.” the merc ran up to the webbed man, kneeling by him on the floor, and holding his head to his chest.

“I don't see why it matters.”

“Because I wanna!”

“Can't we both…?”

“No!”

“Wade, you’re being- what the?!”

“Aw Ew!” the man roared, struggling like a worm in the beak of a sparrow

Spider-man put his hand on his face, “Why did you lick him?”

Wade simply gave him a pouty face. The webslinger had to put his hands up in defeat.


	5. Food (Again)

It was Peter’s turn to pay for date night. It was obvious where they would go. It was the cheapest place nearest the apartment and the best bang for their but. Not only that, but Wade loved the pizza there. It was a buffet of course -all you could eat.

“You know me so well, don't you baby boy!”

Peter just chuckled as they paid the entry fee.

“Ooh they have my favorite!”

“I’ll find us a seat.” Peter nodded, letting him go off to get his food.

A few minutes later, the secret hero found and saved them a spot. Then, he went to find Wade. 

From around a corner, he could hear a commotion. Peter’s first assumption was some children bickering about whatever kids bicker about, but then he heard a distinct voice.

“Back off grandma.”

Peter turned the corner as quick as he could, there he found wade at a standoff with an elderly lady.

“That's my pizza you old hag!”

“I was here first!”

Peter was too shocked to move, watching on as his boyfriend and a woman no younger than seventy spat words.

“I don't see your name on it young man.”

“Oh?” Wade picked up the slice and, of course, licked it, “Yeah but my saliva is!”

The woman huffed, stomping away in frustration.

“Oh! Baby boy, look! The last piece!”


	6. Peter

It was an early Sunday morning. No college, no work, but still just as good of a day to get coffee. Peter took a walk, Wade in tow, to his favorite hipster coffee shop. He comes for the brue, leaves because of the atmosphere.

He and wade had just ordered and were now sitting at their table. They chatted for a good ten minutes (a long time, I know, but the coffee is just that good) before his name was called. Wade offered to go get it, and Peter thanked him.

On his way over, Wade was stopped by a child waiting in line with her father.

“Why do you look like that?” she asked.

Wade flinched  
.  
“Anna! Don't be rude! I'm sorry sir.”

The merc smiled, “It's fine.” then whispered to the child, “It's because I didn't eat my vegetables.”

She gasped as he walked away to the counter. Wade received the coffees, but when he turned around, almost dropped them.

There, his baby boy was still seated, a hunk of a hipster standing by the table talking to him. It was obvious what was happening there.

Without hesitation, Wade stormed over, pulling his boyfriend up by the arm all the while making eye contact with the stranger. Before Peter could say anything, react in any way, Wade licked him down the side of his face, never breaking eye contact.

The man's brow furrows, “Uh. Ew?” then he walked away as if never talking to him in the first place.

Peter shoved his boyfriend off him, “Why do you keep liking things?”

Wade smiled, grin as cheeky as a butt. Then he said in all seriousness, a triumphant fist in the air, “To claim them as my own!”

Peter could only smile.

**Author's Note:**

> One time i was hanging out with my BFF and i had my arms around her from behind like Peter does in this story. Yep, she ended up licking me because and i quote, “My tongue fell out” we decided it would be a good spideypool idea. Everything else in the story is just my ideas running away with me.  
> Hope you enjoyed~


End file.
